17 Things That Should NEVER Have Been Connected To the Internet

We at hSo are passionate about getting online and staying connected. After all we are an internet service provider. However, in the growing era of the Internet of Things, there are limits to what should be connected to the internet and what shouldn't. We've watched with amusement parody twitter accounts such as @internetofshit break down the completely outlandish inventions that the Internet of Things has created. Here are some of our favourites:

1. Dams

https://t.co/X4VD5jDCnX INTERNET OF DAMS @internetofshit

— TacMaid 1-1 (@yinettesys) February 7, 2016

Have you heard the one where a structure that holds millions of gallons of water goes offline...

2. Toothbrushes

oh my god someone made klout for toothbrushes pic.twitter.com/YBFG11lXcH

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) March 3, 2016

Because dentists aren't annoying enough

3. Vacuum Cleaners

Now your vacuum can send you needy text messages! https://t.co/90ipvOaal7

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) March 1, 2016

Text received: “Hey buddy, it's me Henry. Just updating you on how little you use me.” Nope.

4. Shoes

This comfy shoe doubles as a footstep-powered Wi-Fi hotspot https://t.co/KkfA1SVmew pic.twitter.com/QS4e84BPHZ

— Fast Company (@FastCompany) February 29, 2016

Every step you take. Every move you make. I'll be online for you?

5. Cars

Researcher @troyhunt finds out Nissan LEAF cars can be controlled via a public API with no authentication https://t.co/w2TGVpHGpy

— SecuriTay (@SwiftOnSecurity) February 24, 2016

A smart car that can be hacked with no authentication details needed? We'll pass thanks.

6. Toilets:

Why, yes, there is a "smart" toilet. With an app. And a CVE. https://t.co/ea28h0tsIB Welcome to the Internet of s**t. pic.twitter.com/zYQtDpR22x

— Jan Schaumann (@jschauma) February 23, 2016

What a load of...

7. Cooking Pans

delete your account pic.twitter.com/WhYA2W4GAX

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) February 17, 2016

“I'm just going to create some fajitas using my Smart Pan.” Said no professional chef ever.

8. Freight Trains

Looking forward to the disaster movie already. pic.twitter.com/prtlDIzw1K

— John B (@johnb78) February 6, 2016

Nothing terrifies us more than an Internet-connected freight train. It's big and mechanical and it reminds us of the Terminator. Just no.

9. Teddy Bears

This internet-connected Fisher Price teddy bear exposed children's identities https://t.co/USxShizxYf pic.twitter.com/ENy8jPFY7r

— Lorenzo Franceschi-B (@lorenzoFB) February 2, 2016

“It would be great if we could create a toy designed to help children sleep and make sure it's always connected to the greatest source of entertainment in the world.” Parenting 101.

10. X-Ray Machines

And there you have it, a machine controlling an X-Ray device on VNC with patient data open.. https://t.co/l4x8VOLFMA pic.twitter.com/i8scCwALmu

— Yonathan Klijnsma (@ydklijnsma) January 28, 2016

A brand new way to share your inner-most secrets online. No thanks.

11. Belts

A belt that measures your waist size and sends it to an app..... https://t.co/hGv6L2pmfc pic.twitter.com/oiEmrHg896

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 7, 2016

Because we all need a smart belt telling us just how much we've eaten over the festive period...

12. Toasters

The next big cybersecurity threat? Hijacking "smart" toasters and refrigerators https://t.co/VuPGm9toJX pic.twitter.com/u1BGrKfcce

— Bloomberg Business (@business) January 28, 2016

We all know what burnt toast smells like. There is just no need for an app thanks.

13. Baby Monitors

burn it down https://t.co/pYPyD0ER7b pic.twitter.com/ZOQgktk9cs

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 14, 2016

“Honey, let's crowdsource raising our baby!”

14. Water Bottles:

why. whO WANTS THIS. GOD pic.twitter.com/7lMo4ko1gd

— surasshu (@surasshu) January 12, 2016

When your body can't be bothered to tell you if you're thirsty...

15. Lightbulbs

I updated my Philips Hue bridge. One of the light bulb didn’t get the firmware update. Now I can’t control it. cc @internetofshit

— Romain Dillet (@romaindillet) January 12, 2016

Connected lightbulbs seemed like such a bright idea...

16. Doorbells

Ding dong, you've been owned by your doorbell https://t.co/cbb0OsoTCU pic.twitter.com/LTHJP5qU1D

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 12, 2016

Can you think of the chaos this would cause if there was no connectivity? Think of the poor postmen!

17. Rubber Ducks

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ pic.twitter.com/3r5z7P1t1c

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 11, 2016

A $99 duck that can watch you in the bath. Creepy. But cool. But mainly creepy.

We know it seems hip and cool to be part of the future and have every single item in your home connected to the internet, some appliances are just not worth it. Just walk away from the madness now, scientists.

Perhaps the final word is best left with @internetofshit:

“Let's be honest, the Internet of Things is what nobody needs but we all deserve.”

Let's be honest, the Internet of Things is what nobody needs but we all deserve

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) January 25, 2016